Tear. Smear. Crunch. That’s how you enjoy your baguette. Slicing
is for dilettantes. Slicing is for folks who don’t know the joy of tearing
through bread in the open air. While I strolled through Paris, I watched women
bite the tops of loaves the way Bugs Bunny chomped on carrots. It was culture
shock. It was breathtaking. There were no carb-cocked renegades peering through
South Beach Diet boxes judging them as the baguette crumbs threaded their lips.
Fast forward: I went to the South Beach version of a Farmers Market on Lincoln
Road and stumbled upon a bread chorus line—sourdough, raisin walnut, baguettes,
and more. I couldn’t resist. The only thing more exciting than eating a freshly
made baguette is shopping for one. I heard of Zak the Baker while lamenting
the loss of ACME Bakery to a colleague, but this was my first time seeing his
work. It reminded me of the patisseries I saw in Paris. Tear. Smear. Crunch. Plugrá salted butter. Perfection. The baguette
was a $3 stroll to a gastronomical season of my life that was so ecstatic, I
felt guilty. But I got over it.
Gourmet Squatter
A blog for gourmet palates living on squatter budgets.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Señor Paco, Persecuted for Smoked Salmon Sake
“I was arrested like 20 times,”
said Señor Paco, a silver-slick, Cuban fish merchant. “This was in Kendall in the
80s. I was just trying to make a living.” Back in the days, vendors were often
arrested for selling the streetside goodies you and I have come to love. But Señor
Paco Fernando still
stands. His Blue Runner Seafood truck is a deep sea treasure on land. From fresh corvina
and stone crabs to ceviche and my favorite, the hickory smoked salmon, a sweet
slice of omega fatty goodness, I’m an official groupie. And then there’s Señor Paco
in his crisp white shirt and slacks. “My wife, Barbara, makes an amazing salmon
spread,” he said endearingly. Señor Paco’s clients enjoy
sopping up his one on oneness. It’s hard to imagine him in an icky jail. But sometimes
good men get cells, and bad men get badges. “Finally, the judge was just tired
of seeing me,” he said.
Blue
Runner Seafood, North Miami, 786-499-9334.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Cheese Heals All Wounds
My beloved Gourmet Squatters,
it’s been a long time. Reality has crept into my bounty like a mouse seizing a baguette
in the hollow of night, and for the past few months, a thoughtful meal has
meant more than it ever has. I am caring for a loved one who is sick, a fellow
Gourmet Squatter, a champion, a friend, a leader, and an amazing woman of God. Each
day, she fights with loss of appetite, an anguishing symptom for someone who lived
for the perfume of jerk pork and the bite of savory, aged Cheddars. It breaks
my heart. But every once in a while, she has an urge for her favorites: smoked
Salmon, Prosciutto di Parma, and stinky cheeses, and I am happy to oblige. I
really love shopping for cheese and experimenting with simple recipes. I love
the opposites attract experience of taking a soft, stinky cheese, marrying it
with a complex, sweet preserve and smearing it on toast. It’s breakfast. It’s
dessert. It’s divine. Here’s a simple, yummy dish that dimmed the noise of
sickness, so we could be present in the sweet gift of breath.
Bufala Blackberry Toast
Tip: Make
sure the cheese is at least room temperature, so it’s easy to smear
Slab of quadrello di bufala (or
your favorite musty fromage)
Tablespoon of marion blackberry
preserves
Chunk of your favorite baguette
Preparation:
Toast baguette
Smear cheese
Top with preserves
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Eating Dinosaurs with Old Friends
I belong to a prayer circle of women who I’ve
known since Pink Panther popsicles and goomies. About five years ago, we formed the circle because we
were grown-ass women who felt like
overgrown teenagers. Our gatherings are much like Blanche, Sofia, Dorothy,
and Rose who shared their pangs, woes and pleasures over endless cheesecake
pies. But our menus are slightly different; Tastee’s Jamaican patties, Syrian
lamb skewers and spicy, red rice, vegan oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and Publix Chocolate Trinity
Ice Cream are among my favorites. I’m the wine girl, so I’m proud to say that I
proselytized the gals out of White Zin. They’re into sparkling rosé, so I usually bring a bottle. But what’s most
delicious are the endless bowls of laughter as we reminisce the past, gently or
not-so-gently poking at each other’s strange phases (Back in the day, I dated a
crazy DJ I named Mufasa). We laugh loud and hard and long, hoping our echoes
will cling on until tomorrow. The last time we gathered, my friend, T, made a
vegan lamb stew with sautéed dinosaur kale and steamed jasmine rice. None of us
are vegan, but since she’s married to one, she’s mastered some delicious recipes.
And this is definitely one of them. I adore Indian food and relished the cumin,
coriander, fennel, and cinnamon aromas dancing from her pot. I used to think
that dinosaur kale could only be enjoyed in a juice with bananas and apples
because the leaf’s texture is tough, but when it’s cooked gently, it reminds me
of a mix of calaloo and collard greens. It’s hearty and filling much like the
time I spend with my sisters.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Dining in the Natural Mystic
The best meal ever! |
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Saturday, November 3, 2012
The Price of P-Funk
If you’ve been reading Gourmet
Squatter, you know I love my wines, funky. By funky, I mean I like my dry
reds Virginia Woolf-deep, wines that provoke the androgynous mind,
compelling you to take a second glance at the color, wines that make you stick
your nose in the glass over and over again like a child at the beach, digging
through the wet sand in search of treasure. You know you have arrived when you smell
the earth at her most vulnerable. Some folks use words like wet cellar or wet
leaves. But in my experience, these wines can smell like everything from stinky
cheese and wet soil to armpit, sweaty socks and lovemaking. These wines possess
Sly Stone-swag, your descriptors getting more and more creative as they unravel
in the glass. When I think of the essence of grape funk, I think, Pinot Noir,
and like all the things worth having, this grape is called the heartbreak grape
as it is difficult to grow. It’s also difficult to find a really well-made
bottle for under $25. Last year, when my budget took a boost, I bought several
bottles between $20 and $35 mainly from Oregon and was really bored. The aromas
were flat, vacant and uninspiring. Today I got off work ready for that good
P-funk, so I told the wine dondadda at one of my favorite wine stores, that my
budget was $30. He recommended the 2009 Soléna Grand
Cuvée Oregon Pinot Noir as
a supremely aromatic wine, but the bottle I had was aromatically dead. I tried
and tried to smell something, but there was nothing there. A couple weeks ago I
bought a bottle of 2009 Sonoma Cuvée Russian River Valley Pinot Noir for just over $20.
P-funk jumped out of my glass along with aromas of braised short ribs and
marionberries. On the palate, there were dark plum, stewed fig, clove and anise
flavors that glided through the lush, cashmere body. I bought the ’08 vintage
this evening which wasn’t as interesting, but sometimes, you have to hunt the
P-funk.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Sipping the Winemaker
So I
have a confession. I love wine. You know that. But more than I love sipping
wine, I love sipping the winemakers. I love reading about the adventures of
those who dare trade their nine-to-five gigs for the long shot, the jagged
dream of making money as grape juice hustlers. These aren’t descendants of
centuries-old wine families. They are everyday people who stumbled into a
bottle that inspired them in the same way that music inspired Aretha and poetry
inspired Plath. Helen Turley is the winemaker behind labels like Marcassin,
Bryant, Colgin and Peter Michael. Wine Spectator Senior Editor—James Laube
wrote in a 2010 article that Turley is a
native of Augusta, Ga., where she grew up Southern Baptist raised on a diet of
fried chicken and meatloaf. Not exactly a foie gras-Sauternes background,
is it? In 1968, Turley and her man drove
a VW bus cross-country, hippie-style, ending in California. It was a 1980 Sea
Ridge Pinot Noir that changed her life. Mac McDonald came from a family of
Texas moonshine makers. Laube wrote in a 2004 Wine Spectator article that MacDonald’s mother, Elbessie, along with her
brother and sister, made sweet wine from apples and cherries. But that didn't
pique Mac's interest. It was a 1952 red Burgundy that changed his life. When he
was a teen, a group of doctors hired his father to take them hunting, and one
guest left Mac with that '52 Burgundy. About eight years ago I met the
Michael Duncan look-alike in downtown Brooklyn where he rose from the Lafayette
Avenue subway stop wearing overalls and a straw hat. I got goosebumps when he
explained that he aged his Pinot in Hungarian oak. Are your dreams aging? I
know sometimes it feels like mine are. Afraid to take that long shot? Maybe
it’s not that long. But are we willing to do the work, pick the grapes and see
what ends up in the bottle?
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